Ever wonder what went wrong between the moment words are spoken and the way they are heard? Yeah, me too.
It amazes me how often I can watch the interaction between people and hear one thing being said and another thing being heard. It happens at my house all the time.
I have read many articles on communicating. Most have had good ideas to offer. The trouble lies in communicating these ideas to others who may need it. Not only does it seem that everybody thinks they’re smart, they also believe they can talk the talk and convince others of it. Be very wary of people who tell you how smart they are!
When I Was Much Younger
When I was younger and starting out in sales and marketing I thought my purpose was to communicate. Later as I grew, I felt it was more important to communicate accurately. What I have found is the true challenge was to communicate effectively. Often the words you use are not heard by the listener(s) correctly. To communicate effectively, you must be able to reach those who are hard of listening. Alas, they are out there. This is not a 50-50 equation. If you are the communicator, you must carry the load or you will not succeed. Gee . . . That’s not fair! Suck it up! Words alone don’t get it done.
Actions often speak louder than words, and so does body language. Effective communication is a three legged stool. Putting the right words in the right order, consciously using the best motions and movements to open the mind of the recipient to receive the true meaning, and paying attention to the signs from the listener to measure how well you are succeeding. Yes, they will signal you, but you must pay attention to the signals. Many are more subtle than yawning.
Using The Right Words
The right words in the right order make a big difference. If I asked you would you prefer a thick broiled juicy steak or if you would prefer a hot chunk of bloody cow muscle, which would you choose? The right words and all that. How about “What’s that in the road ahead?” Or “What’s that in the road, a head?” If you are delivering the message you must deliver it effectively or you’re wasting not only your time but theirs as well.
Your body language must be conducive to properly adding to the message. Using your hands is important. Flapping them around like you are shooing off flies is not. I always recommend learning from professionals. Notice how newscasters talk and move. Compare that to local car commercials with amateur owner operators doing the stand up. Some of them are not bad, but even then it’s easy to discern the difference between the hired hand pro actor car salesman and the good ole boys.
Becoming Effective
When you want to communicate effectively, you must control all sides of the narrative. You must be responsible for both sides, sender as well as receiver. The secret? Practice, practice, practice. That’s it, I swear.
