Long Term Relationships

I may not be the right person to be bloviating on relationships. But I’m going to do it anyway. I’ve only really had one. True enough, it has lasted over 52 years now. I hardly see that as making me much more than a limited expert.

Mated couple

All you need is love

When people ask me the secret to being married 50 years, my understanding of human nature is they would prefer a sliver bullet answer and not a sermon, so I glibly say, put ‘we’ ahead of ‘me’. Women often nod in an understanding way. Men politely acknowledge that I may have just passed on a bit of knowledge they may plan to think about later.

Of course, it goes deeper than that. Winston Churchill said something to the effect that becoming best friends with your wife as you grow older is the most important thing.

I think our backgrounds may have something to do with it too. We both came from two parent families who had stayed together until the end of their time here. It’s not always an indicator, though. My wife has two siblings that had false starts before finding their forever love (So far anyway.)

Our personality traits play a big part as well. We are both very loyal people. That loyalty goes a long way in tempering our personalities, especially through the rough patches that any long term commitment must endure occasionally.

Could it have gone another way? Of course. Being a dumb ass guy, I could have made a fatal mistake that I would have eternally regretted. I was blessed and lucky. I didn’t.

So now after 52 years, I am comfortable in saying I think it’s going to work out.

gerald jacobs

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